2. King Shantanu and Ganga: These are some crazy deals being struck- I'll cast you into the river to drown if you give me an eighth of your power? How do they divvy that up? Like, hmm I'll collect all of the magical energy in my pancreas and bequeath it unto you, dear River Goddess. LOTUSES. I know this was love at first sight, but what if King Shanty maybe noticed qualities other than her skinniness/prettiness. Talk to her dude. Looks aren't everything. Check for the crazy eyes. HECK yes I love that she demands to be treated like an equal you go, Ganga. Dang, good for him for lasting through seven kiddos before questioning her sanity out loud. A good one-shot would be of the first time she chucks an infant into the torrential river.
3. King Shantanu and Satyavati: Literary device: flashback, but with extra detail. Oof fishdad is trying to drive a hard bargain.
4. Devavrata's Vow: whoa what a guy. The flowers falling and the name "Terrible" are quite a contrast indeed. Can the kingdom just be ruled by who's best for it? Three years of war is not something to gloss over.
5. Bhishma at the Swayamvara: AH true love is at stake. A secret affair! The plot thickens! This is an example of the reader knowing something many of the characters do not. I love the imagery of the variety of prince's banners arrayed in front of the three maidens. A patchwork of regional culture. "Never had there been an archer like Bhisma" I felt this could have been set up better- perhaps a one-shot about his continuous practice of archery instead of wooing women.
6. Amba: This king is TRASH. I love that her motivations are crystal clear, though. Her priorities are: 1. Revenge on Bhishma. I wish she didn't have to turn into a man to do it though- perhaps my story for this week can be a warrior training montage for Amba, who refuses Shiva's offer to become a man and insists she'll do it herself.
7. Dhritarashtra and Pandu: dang this must be a seriously scraggly dude. When other people's negative reactions towards you manifest physically in their children you know you have issues. What must it have been like to meet this secluded mountain man with the knowledge that you are to give birth to his children?
8. Kunti and Her Son: "she ministered unto him faithfully by serving food at any hour he desired" Hey I'm craving pizza rolls. Ok babe brb. Write a one-shot about the making of celestial earrings? "The child had the eyes of a lion" very striking description. It's crazy that she would give up a baby Moses-style rather than live as a single mom. I'm so glad he went to a loving home!!
9. Pandu and His Wives: Swayamvara. Deer play an important role in that Ramayana scene as well. Dang this was like XXX. Like the Ramayana, death is rarely used as a verb: "gave up the ghost" is used here for the brahmin.
10. The Sons of Pandu: Five total demigod sons seems almost excessive- what a power pack, honestly. What qualities in the moms were so attractive to the gods? Was this so common that many people wandered India with mythical parentage?
11. Gandhari and Dhirarashtra: HECk yes blind king is ruling despite his disability. And his wife using a blindfold to be on his level?! Legend. (Literally). Also, a hundred kids?! Extreme. "Duryodhana's death was ill-omened." I love how this sets the foreshadowing up- I've previously underestimated the power of italics, and hope to use this method in a future story. The folly of parents, to love too much. Parental favor hecks things up on an individual and familial level.
12. Pandavas and Kauravas: These boys must have had so much fun growing up together in the grand palace- the cattle-branding sounds like it was quite the adventure. "with the bearing of young lions" "and could behold the whole universe as if it were a plum in the palms of their hands". This really sets up how powerful these lowly-at-first-glance hermits truly are. Putting something as vast as the universe into the context of fruit really puts things into perspective.
13. Bhima and the Nagas: Describes the aftereffects of poison as "fell into a big swoon". The poisons COUNTERACT?! what a lucky dog!! Two wrongs do, in this case, make a right. The city of serpents in the underworld sounds like such an interesting setting. Would it be dark? Warm? Crowded? I want to know more.
14. Drona: Prudent. Preceptor. Both a warrior and a scholar, emphasizing the importance of both for success. A kid named because he cried like a horse- many characters are named after features/actions. Perhaps a short story OC could be named in this fashion. It is so saddening that he believed their friendship was weaker than social status. Upset.
15. Drona Trains the Princess: YES princess training. This was too glossed over. I want more deets! Perhaps a supplemental short story can help.
16. Ekalavya: It is a recurring theme in this story to justify separation by social class. Here it happens when the highwayman/cattle-lifting descendant want to learn archery and is turned away. Good for him for learning on his own, but it's a shame his earnestness cost him (note: prevailing qualities come at a price?). He cheerfully severed his own thumb?! Also it's cool that it became custom in the region to draw a bow that way. I love when stories explain origins of characteristics and mannerisms.
17. The Contest Ooo yes the return of the PDE rhyme scheme. "girded loins". "ponderous maces". Of course there has to be a tournament.
18. The Arrival of Karna: Gentle trash-talk. Serious, but respectful. Adds to characterization. "His eyes flashed fire" shows emotion without dialogue. Good skill to use. This must have been so terrible for their mom, goodness.
19. Drona's Revenge: Oof using your students to do your dirty work:( This has to go against some sort of warriors code. "consumeth". elephants as big as mountains. Glad to see them friends again, but the road there seemed rather excessive. Perhaps this makes it seem more epic for the reader- like anything worth having comes at a price/is worth fighting for?
20. Duryodhana's Jealousy: "Added fuel to the flames of Prince Duryodhana's hatred." Later his revenge is- get this- fire. Also what a cliffhanger. I really hope they don't die! Spacing out the plotting and making the audience wait for any resolution is so effective from a storytelling standpoint.
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| Image Info: Famous artwork rendering the Mahabharata. Found on the DNA India website. Source: Link. |
Bibliography: PDE Mahabarata. Source: Link.
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